How to Request Flexible Working as a New Dad (Without Damaging Your Career)

Becoming a new dad changes everything — including how you think about work. Whether you want to be home for bedtime, help with morning routines, or just be more present during those crucial early months, flexible working can be a game-changer.

But here's the reality: many new dads worry that asking for flexibility will mark them as "less committed" or damage their career prospects. This fear isn't unfounded — research shows that fathers who take advantage of family-friendly policies can face career penalties.

However, with the right approach, timing, and understanding of your legal rights, you can request flexible working arrangements that benefit both you and your employer. Here's exactly how to do it.

Your Legal Rights in the UK (Updated for 2024)

The law changed significantly in April 2024 with the Employment Relations (Flexible Working) Act 2023 coming into force. These changes strengthen your position considerably:

The 2024 Changes

Before April 2024	From April 2024
Had to wait 26 weeks to request	Day-one right — can request immediately
One request per 12 months	Two requests per 12 months
Employer had 3 months to respond	2 months to respond
No consultation required	Employer must consult before refusing

Key Legal Points:

All employees can request flexible working from day one of employment
You can make two requests per 12-month period
Your employer must consult with you before refusing and respond within 2 months
They can only refuse on eight specific business grounds (listed below)
Paternity leave gives you 1-2 weeks at £187.18/week statutory pay (2025/26 rate)
Shared Parental Leave lets eligible fathers share up to 50 weeks with their partner — though only 5% of eligible dads take it due to financial barriers

Common Flexible Working Options:

Flexitime — varying your start and finish times
Compressed hours — working your full-time hours over fewer days (e.g., 4 x 9.5-hour days)
Part-time working — reducing your total hours and pay proportionally
Job sharing — splitting a role with another person
Remote/hybrid working — working from home some or all of the time
Term-time working — working only during school terms (useful for later!)

Timing Your Request: When to Ask

Since April 2024, you can make a request from your very first day. But timing still matters for how it's received.

During Pregnancy (Ideal)

12-16 weeks before baby's due date
Allows time for planning and handovers
Shows you're thinking ahead and being responsible
Less emotional pressure than post-birth

During Paternity Leave (Good)

During your 1-2 weeks of paternity leave
You've had time to adjust to new reality
Still gives employer time to plan
Shows the conversation isn't just theoretical

After Returning to Work (Acceptable)

Within first 4-6 weeks of return
Gives you a feel for the new challenges
Don't wait too long — patterns establish quickly

Important: Even though you have a day-one right, if you're brand new to a role, consider whether a brief settling-in period might make your request more likely to succeed.

Building Your Business Case

This is crucial: frame your request as a business solution, not a personal favour. Employers are much more receptive when they see clear benefits.

Benefits to Highlight:

Productivity Gains

CIPD research shows flexible workers often report higher productivity
"I'll have fewer interruptions during core hours"
"Commute time saved can be redirected to work — that's 2+ hours daily for many UK workers"

Retention & Recruitment

"Flexible working is increasingly expected by talent — 78% of UK workers want it according to CIPD surveys"
"Reduces recruitment costs if I stay long-term — replacing an employee costs £10,000-15,000 on average"
"Positive impact on company culture and employer brand"

Cost Savings

"Reduced office overhead if working remotely"
"Lower staff turnover saves recruitment and training costs"
"Potential reduction in sick leave — flexible workers report better wellbeing"

Template Email/Letter

Here's a template that meets the statutory requirements:

Subject: Statutory Flexible Working Request — [Your Name]

Dear [Manager's Name],

I am writing to make a statutory request for flexible working under the Employment Relations (Flexible Working) Act 2023.

Current working arrangement: [E.g., Full-time, 37.5 hours per week, Monday-Friday 9am-5:30pm, office-based]

Requested change: [Be specific — e.g., "Working from home on Mondays and Fridays, with office attendance Tuesday-Thursday"]

Proposed start date: [E.g., 1st April 2026]

Effect on employer and how it could be managed: I do not believe this change would negatively impact my work or the team. To ensure continuity:

I will remain available by phone, email, and Teams during core hours [specify times]
All team meetings will be attended as scheduled [in person or remotely as appropriate]
Client meetings and collaborative work can be scheduled for office days
Key projects and deadlines will be managed with the same commitment and quality

Trial Period: I propose a 3-month trial period with regular check-ins to assess effectiveness and make any necessary adjustments.

Previous requests: [I have not made a previous flexible working request / I made a previous request on X date which was approved/refused]

I would be happy to discuss this request further and am open to considering alternatives if you have concerns about the specific arrangement proposed.

I look forward to hearing from you within the statutory timeframe of two months.

Yours sincerely, [Your Name] [Date]

Common Objections & How to Address Them

"We need you here for collaboration"

Response: "I understand collaboration is crucial. That's why I've proposed being in office Tuesday-Thursday during peak collaborative hours. I can also ensure availability for urgent matters via phone/video on remote days."

"Other team members might want the same"

Response: "Flexible working is a statutory right for all employees. I'd be happy to share how this arrangement maintains my contributions. This could actually help establish a framework that benefits everyone."

"Clients expect immediate responses"

Response: "I'll maintain the same response time commitments during agreed working hours. In fact, having focused deep-work time could improve the quality of my client deliverables."

"It's not fair on other team members"

Response: "I'm committed to maintaining my full workload and contribution. Others can also make their own statutory requests — flexibility isn't a finite resource."

What If They Say No?

Under the 2024 legislation, your employer must:

Consult with you before making a decision
Respond within 2 months
Only refuse based on one of eight permitted business reasons:

The eight statutory grounds for refusal:

Burden of additional costs
Detrimental effect on ability to meet customer demand
Inability to reorganise work among existing staff
Inability to recruit additional staff
Detrimental impact on quality
Detrimental impact on performance
Insufficiency of work during proposed working times
Planned structural changes

Your Options if Refused:

Request details: Ask for a clear explanation of which business reason(s) apply
Appeal the decision (if your company has an appeals process)
Submit a modified request — you can make two requests per year
Seek ACAS advice (0300 123 1100) if you believe the refusal was unfair or the process wasn't followed
Employment tribunal if you believe there was discrimination (e.g., treating you less favourably than a woman making the same request)

Making It Work: Tips for Success

First Month

Over-communicate — be visible and responsive
Deliver on commitments — prove the arrangement works
Be flexible about teething problems
Check in regularly with your manager

Ongoing

Maintain performance standards — flexibility isn't an excuse for lower output
Stay connected with your team — don't become isolated
Be professional about family interruptions — have backup plans
Review and adjust — be open to tweaks that improve things for everyone

The Bigger Picture: Changing Dad Culture

By requesting flexible working, you're not just helping yourself — you're helping to normalise the idea that dads want to be present, engaged parents too.

The statistics are stark: despite Shared Parental Leave being available since 2015, only 5% of eligible fathers take it. Part of this is financial (statutory pay is only £187.18/week), but part is workplace culture.

Every successful flexible working arrangement makes it easier for the next dad to ask. You're potentially paving the way for better work-life balance for all parents in your organisation.

UK Resources

ACAS helpline: 0300 123 1100 (free advice on flexible working rights)
Gov.uk guidance: gov.uk/flexible-working
Working Families: workingfamilies.org.uk — charity supporting working parents
CIPD: cipd.org/flexible-working — employer perspective

Key Takeaways

Know your rights — day-one right to request, two requests per year, 2-month response time
Time it well — ideally during pregnancy or paternity leave
Build a business case — focus on benefits to the employer
Be specific — vague requests are easy to refuse
Offer a trial — reduces perceived risk
Stay professional — this is a business arrangement, not a favour
Document everything — put requests in writing, keep copies
Be prepared to negotiate — flexibility about your flexibility

Remember: asking for flexible working isn't about being a "part-time" dad or employee. It's about being smart with your time so you can excel in both roles. With the 2024 legal changes strengthening your position, there's never been a better time to have this conversation.

Want to explore more radical options? Read our guide to Shared Parental Leave — what it is, how it works, and whether it makes financial sense for your family.