Your Child's First Phone: The Complete UK Dad's Guide

"When can I have a phone?"

If you haven't heard this question yet, you will. And you probably don't feel ready to answer it—because giving your child their first phone is genuinely one of the bigger parenting decisions of this era.

This guide covers everything: what age, which phone, what settings, how much it'll cost, and how to set expectations that actually stick. No scaremongering, just practical advice from dads who've navigated this already.

What Age Is Right?

Let's start with the question everyone asks and nobody can definitively answer.

The Statistics

Ofcom's 2024 research found that nearly a quarter (23%) of children aged 5-7 have their own smartphone. By age 10, it's the majority. The average age for a first phone in the UK sits somewhere around 9-10.

But averages don't help you decide what's right for your child.

A Better Framework

Instead of asking "what age?", consider these questions:

Practical need:

Do they walk to school alone or with friends?
Are they regularly away from you (clubs, activities, split households)?
Do you need to contact them during the day?

Maturity indicators:

Can they follow household rules consistently?
Do they understand that some things online can't be unseen?
Can they walk away from a screen when asked (most of the time)?
Do they tell you about things that upset them?

Social factors:

Is everyone else in their friend group getting phones? (This matters, even if we wish it didn't)
Are they being excluded from group chats and social plans?

There's no perfect answer. Many families find that around Year 5-6 (ages 9-11) hits the intersection of practical need and sufficient maturity—but your child might be ready earlier or later.

The "Dumb Phone First" Approach

Some families start with a basic phone that makes calls and sends texts, but doesn't have apps, social media, or internet browsing. This gives them independence and contact without the complexity of a smartphone.

Options:

Nokia 105 4G (around £20-25)
Nokia 3310 (around £40)

The downsides: no group chats (which is where most teen communication happens), no maps, and social cachet matters to tweens more than we'd like.

Choosing a Phone

Budget Smartphones (Under £150)

These are solid first-phone choices—functional without being premium:

iPhone SE (refurbished): £120-180 depending on condition. Gets iOS updates, works with Apple's excellent parental controls, familiar if you're an iPhone family.
Samsung Galaxy A14: Around £130 new. Good screen, solid camera, will run all the apps they need.
Motorola Moto G series: £100-150. Reliable, clean Android experience.

Why Not a Flagship?

Giving an 11-year-old an iPhone 15 or Samsung S24 is asking for trouble:

They'll drop it, scratch it, or lose it
It's a theft target
You'll spend more on insurance than the phone is worth

A mid-range phone does everything they need. Save the premium devices for when they can contribute to the cost themselves.

Refurbished Phones

Buying refurbished is a sensible first-phone strategy:

Back Market: Wide selection, 12-month warranty, graded condition
giffgaff: Refurbished phones with their SIM deals
Apple Refurbished Store: Apple-certified refurbished iPhones with full warranty (but less discount)

A refurbished iPhone SE or Galaxy A-series is often the sweet spot: capable enough, cheap enough to not be devastating when dropped, and replaceable without drama.

Contracts vs PAYG vs SIM-Only

Pay As You Go (PAYG)

How it works: Buy credit in advance, they use it until it's gone.

Pros:

Complete cost control—when the credit's gone, it's gone
No ongoing commitment
Teaches budgeting (they learn fast when they've used all their data)

Cons:

Can be more expensive per-minute/per-GB
Less predictable monthly costs
They might run out at an inconvenient moment

Best for: Younger children, first phones, families wanting strict spending limits

SIM-Only Monthly Plans

How it works: Monthly rolling contract (usually 1-month notice), SIM only.

Good options for kids:

Smarty: £6/month for 4GB, £8 for 12GB. 1-month rolling. Uses Three network.
giffgaff: £8/month for 8GB. 1-month rolling. Uses O2 network.
VOXI: £10/month for 15GB + unlimited social media. Uses Vodafone network.

Pros:

Predictable monthly cost
Enough data for typical tween usage
Easy to upgrade or cancel

Cons:

Can run up costs with add-ons if not configured correctly
Another monthly bill to manage

Phone + Contract (Avoid for Kids)

24-month contracts bundling a phone with service are almost always a bad deal for children:

You're paying inflated prices for the phone
You're locked in even if the phone breaks
It teaches them that phones are "free" (they're not)

If you want a new phone, buy it outright and get a cheap SIM-only plan.

Setting Up Parental Controls

The first thing to do—before you hand them the phone—is set up parental controls properly.

iPhone (Screen Time)

Go to Settings > Screen Time
Turn on Screen Time and set as a child's device
Set a Screen Time passcode (not one they know or can guess)
Configure Downtime: Set hours when only allowed apps work (e.g., not after 9pm)
Set App Limits: Daily limits on categories (games, social media) or specific apps
Content & Privacy Restrictions:
- Set content ratings appropriate for their age
- Block explicit web content
- Disable installing apps without permission
- Prevent in-app purchases
Communication Limits: Control who they can contact during downtime
Share My Location: Enable family sharing so you can see their location

Android (Google Family Link)

Download Family Link on your phone
Create a Google account for your child (or link an existing one)
Link their device to Family Link
Set controls:
- App approval (you approve all downloads)
- Screen time limits
- Content filters
- Location sharing

Family Link is slightly less seamless than Screen Time, but works across Android devices.

Gaming-Specific Settings

Most of their time will probably go on games. Set these up too:

Roblox:

Go to Settings > Privacy
Set account restrictions to limit chat
Enable PIN to prevent settings changes
Review privacy settings regularly

Fortnite:

Go to Settings > Parental Controls
Set a PIN
Disable voice chat or set to friends-only
Review purchase settings

YouTube:

Use YouTube Kids for under-13s
Or set up Restricted Mode on regular YouTube (Settings > General)
Note: Restricted Mode isn't perfect and can be bypassed

The Family Phone Agreement

Rules work better when they're discussed and agreed rather than imposed. Many families find a written agreement helpful—not as a legal document, but as a reference point for expectations.

Elements to include:

Time and Place

When the phone goes away (e.g., 9pm, at mealtimes, during homework)
Where it charges overnight (somewhere other than their bedroom)
When it's okay to use and when it isn't

Content and Communication

What apps are allowed (and how to request new ones)
Who they can communicate with
Agreement to tell you if anything online makes them uncomfortable
Understanding that you may check the phone periodically (see below)

Responsibility

What happens if the phone is damaged or lost
Who pays for replacement/repair
Phone as privilege, not right—can be removed for rule violations

Privacy Expectations

Level of monitoring you'll do (be honest about this)
What you will and won't check
Understanding that privacy increases as trust is demonstrated

Sample agreement template: You can find templates online, but the best agreements are ones you create together. Sit down, discuss each point, negotiate where appropriate, and both sign it. Put it somewhere you can refer back to.

The Monitoring Question

This is where dads disagree, and there's no single right answer.

Arguments for Monitoring

Children don't have adult judgment about risk
Online harms are real and can escalate quickly
Knowing you might check discourages poor decisions
You'd check who they're spending time with offline

Arguments for Trust

Constant surveillance damages trust and relationship
They need to learn to self-regulate
They'll find workarounds if they want to
Teenagers especially need some privacy

A Middle Path

Many families land on something like:

Be transparent about what you'll check (no secret surveillance)
Check periodically but not obsessively (maybe weekly at first)
Focus on patterns, not individual messages (who they're talking to, not every conversation)
Increase privacy as trust is demonstrated
Make it clear they can always come to you without getting in trouble for what they've seen

The goal is keeping them safe while building toward the independence they'll need as adults.

Cost Planning

Monthly Costs

Item	Cost
SIM-only plan	£6-10/month
Insurance (optional)	£3-8/month
Total	£6-18/month

One-Off Costs

Item	Cost
Refurbished phone	£100-180
Case	£10-20
Screen protector	£5-10
Total	£115-210

Making Them Contribute

Some families have the child contribute to the cost:

Pocket money goes toward the monthly plan
They pay for the case/accessories
They contribute to replacement cost if damaged through carelessness

This approach teaches responsibility and reduces the "phone is free" mentality.

When Things Go Wrong

They've Seen Something Upsetting

Stay calm. Thank them for telling you. Don't blame them or take the phone away immediately (this discourages future disclosures).

Talk about what they saw
Report content to platforms if appropriate
Reassure them they're not in trouble
Adjust settings if needed

They've Done Something They Shouldn't

Again, stay calm. Your reaction determines whether they'll tell you about problems in future.

Understand what happened and why
Explain the consequences calmly
Agree on what happens next
Follow through on any consequences
Move on—don't hold it over them forever

The Phone Is Missing

Use Find My (iPhone) or Find My Device (Android) to locate it
If stolen, report to police for crime reference number
Contact your provider to block the IMEI
Check home insurance—it may cover phones

They've Run Up a Bill

If they've managed to rack up charges:

Contact the provider to understand what happened
Set up spending caps to prevent repeat
Discuss with your child what went wrong
They should contribute to paying it off if possible

The Bottom Line

Giving your child their first phone is a milestone—for both of you. Done thoughtfully, it gives them independence, connection with friends, and a tool they'll need to navigate the modern world.

Done poorly, it's an anxiety-inducing scroll machine.

The difference is usually in the setup: proper controls, clear expectations, and ongoing conversations rather than "here's a phone, good luck."

Take your time, set it up right, and remember that you can adjust as you go. You don't have to get it perfect on day one.

Ready for the next challenge? Read our guide to social media safety for teens.